I am glad today is my first post of 2016, albeit horrendously late in blogging terms, I really can’t be bothered to fit in – though I’m not sure if it’s me being a rebel without a cause, or a beacon of hope to similar misfits out there, like me.
Time will tell.
God, this year I declare it to be different. I need it to be different because I’m tired. I’m tired of being tired and I’m tired of making everyone else tired of my complaining. God, you did give me the gift of gab, didn’t you?
So, I am going to openly challenge You, if I may. I don’t actually know if this is supported Biblically, but I trust that You won’t watch me do something stupid like challenge You openly if it’s not okay [here’s hoping].
Well here goes…
This year started out hopeful and quickly turned into a mess.
I’ve already had major fights, I am fat [according to my standards] and have just realised the extent of how my self-esteem has been crippling me for years.
I know these revelations aren’t by chance.
I also have been going through some interesting spiritual warfare and I don’t know how to tackle it.
Quite frankly, I want to go back home to my mom and let her be my shelter.
But I had an epiphany. I need You to be that shelter.
I want You to show me something different this year.
It’s not necessarily about blessings, it’s about You showing me a new side of Your glory and showing me that there are things in life that I can live for outside of material things [
but I secretly want you to make me rich in the meantime].
I challenge You – to challenge me.
Challenge me past my emotions and circumstances.
Challenge my writing past the point of personal therapy to being therapeutic for Your lost sheep.
Show me that I’m not suffering. There are people out there suffering because Your love hasn’t reached them yet.
I challenge You, to challenge me, to get to know You better.
To walk hand in hand and speak from Your lips through mine.
Let’s do something new this year.
Let’s see things differently.
Let’s redefine the goals of this journey and our measures of success.
And through it all teach me how to be more like You; especially in forgiveness and love.
2016 is my year. It is my year of ‘Recovery’.
Let us recover all that was lost Lord. And conquer nations for Your name’s sake.
Let’s do that this year God. I challenge You, to challenge me.